The Ferry Rides to Bellingham

It was going to be a long trip. CDub, his doggies and I had to take three separate ferries to reach our destination to Bellingham, WA. Little did we know what strange passenger’s we would come across on this long journey, but we soon found out.

   After fishing for silver salmon and halibut in beautiful Valdez, Alaska; it was time for us to slowly head back to Vegas. The 1^st ferry leaving Valdez went to Whittier. The ferry passed through many ice burgs as well as otters on the way, and I took pictures of the sites. A couple hours passed, and we landed in Whittier. Everyone took turns driving their trucks with trailers in tow off the ferry, and waited for the next one to arrive. CDub's doggies were extremely happy to leave the ferry for a bit, as well as the other four legged friends some passengers brought with them. Finally, all the doggies could go pee-pee and pooh-pooh in their environment. As it turned out, many dogs on the ferry refused to do their business on the car deck where they were forced to stay. So this was a big relief for them to go out in the wilderness to place deposits.

    In Whittier we were told that the place had a population of about 200 people. It was not a welcoming place, to say the least. This old mining town once held a US Army base during WWII. We went to a bar at the only nice hotel in Whittier, and chatted with a bartender about the abandoned buildings. He mentioned that the buildings once held the army men and their families, and told us we should go over and check out the place. But we declined, after he decided to mention that some of the residents do some crazy cult-like activities there. We were in no mood to become a human sacrifice!

    We later walked along the souvenir shops near the pier and I picked up a book. It was called the strangest place in Alaska, which of course was Whittier. We went to an underground tunnel were only pedestrians could use to get to the other side of this strange island. It lead to a creek and a beautiful waterfall. However, you had to pass a strange apartment building on the way to it. I believed most of the residents lived there. It was close to the abandoned military building that the bartender told us about. The place gave out a creepy vibe. I was glad to leave and jump on our next ferry headed to Juneau.
    We went straight to the bar on the 2^nd ferry, were we had a bitch of bartender named Mary who looked very haggard. She had frizzy long hair and a permanent scowl on her face. I knew she hated her job. Every time we tried to order a drink, she acted like she had better things to do. We talked to some of the people in the bar, and they all agreed that she was the worst bartender they ever had! She cut people off after having only two beers and two shots! Unheard of in Vegas! None of us were going to be driving anywhere, so what was the harm? Stupid bartender! I found out, since she was a state employee, she wasn't allowed to receive tips! Which I believe was the main reason for her bitchy attitude. Good excuse? I didn't think so.

    As the afternoon progressed, we strung up a conversation with a married couple who looked like total opposites. The man was a hippy and the woman was very conservative. We chatted about our final destination, and I noticed a bald man ease dropping. He crept over and mentioned that he was headed to Bellingham, Washington too, so he sat down to join the party. This man had shifty eyes and red wine stained lips, which I found distracting as he spoke. I politely left the bar after feeling uneasy not only because of the questionable company, but also from the swells of the ferry ride...and I perhaps had a bit too much to drink.

    We had a pit stop in Yakutat, AK, which name means "the place where canoes rest." Supposedly more people lived in Yakutat than in Whittier, but it seemed like a smaller town to me. We walked by the odd married couple whom we talked to briefly at the bar, and shouting erupted. “I deserve better than you!” the woman said, then smacked him in the face! We tried to avert our eyes, but it was like watching a car crash, you just had to sneak a peak. Suddenly this abusive wife got more physical and with a punch to eye she said, “You’re such a stoner!” On second thought, I think she may have had too much to drink..not me.
    Time to get back on the ferry: At the bar we talked to another couple who witnessed the public outburst. We all just laughed about it, and wondered if they ever got back on the ferry. Finally, we had 'normal' people to talk to in the bar. The woman was from Fairbanks, Alaska and her family owned a fishing company. Her husband was from Alabama and was in the military. We talked about the 6 months of darkness in Alaska, and the woman told us about a “Happy Light” that she use to use when she lived there. Side note: Apparently, Alaskans sit in front of these lights to enhance their mood, ultimately make them happy. We thought she was joking, but no, these things exist! Some genius is making a fortune in Alaska!

    The bald guy found us in the bar, and came over to talk to us about his dogs and his stories of being in Alaska. Backing up: This guy had the ugliest dogs I’ve ever seen! One was an Irish wolfhound that looked like a Sasquatch on all fours. The second was some-kind of mastiff with a long droopy face that had an endless supply of saliva hanging from its jowls. Both dogs produced a baby Irish wolfhound/mastiff that I think should have never existed!

   This man proceeded to talk our ears off (mainly mine,) about Sarah Palin and her alleged affairs. Then suddenly started to discuss his love for skiing, and the time he got attacked by a bear, and shot it to death. Then he said “Skiing is better than sex and cocaine!” I just looked at him puzzled and said, “Oh really? I wouldn’t know.” I had enough of his stories, and I was getting annoyed from him constantly making glances at my breasts, so I politely left the bar. Meanwhile, CDub chatted with the 'normal' couple for a bit, (ignored the creepy bald man,) then finally retired back to our cabin.

   The next morning we went to the cafeteria on the ferry to have breakfast. I was hoping to eat my eggs and drink my coffee in peace, but NO! Baldy saw us and asked if he could sit with us. Before we could say no, he put his tray down and started story telling again. I looked at CDub, and by the expression on my face he knew we should eat fast and get the hell away from this stalker! He brought up Sarah Palin again and her infidelities, claiming that all of her kids were not from her husband. Which I could careless! It was way too early in the morning for this conversation! We left soon after, and tried to avoid the man for the rest of the ferry ride.

    Next stop Juneau! We were going to stay in Juneau for three days, then get on the 3^rd and final ferry. The capital of Alaska was a fun little city. We went to the Red Dog Saloon to grab a pint and a bite to eat. This was a historical place. The ground was nothing but saw dust, and the walls were covered with dead animal heads, a Walrus Oosik, dollar bills from every country, and various old west memorabilia, which included Wyatt Earp’s gun. While sitting at the bar, we heard a blues singer/pianist, and at first thought it was the radio. However, as we looked around, we say an old man singing and pounding away at the keyboard. He had a jar on the counter labeled Viagra…his version of tip jar, which I thought was amusing. On his break, he sat down next to us, and we talked about our adventures in Alaska, shared pictures and had a few more pints. He was a perverted old man but harmless, so I decided to take a picture with him. Leaving the Red Dog Saloon, we hoped the last ferry would be better, and prayed that it would be big enough so we wouldn’t run into the man who owned the strange dogs. Thankfully we didn't, but unfortunately we adopted another freak!

  It was the 15 minute dog call at 8:15am on the Ferry. CDub awoke to take the dogs out of the trailer and walk them around the car deck so they could do their business. He came across a shady character that had a Springer spaniel, and to his horror, he watched this man pick up dog shit with his bare hands! From that moment forward, he was only to be referred to as “The dog-shit-picker-upper!” We were glad the bald guy finally got the hint to leave us alone, but now the dog-shit-picker-upper seamed to be around every corner…and thankfully, so were the Purell hand sanitizer dispensers.
    It was time for an afternoon drink. We scoped out the Piano Bar, and were relieved to find a smiling bartender named Tony. I noticed he had a sign at the bar that said, “Beware of Attack Bartender” which I found funny, and made him pretend to be a bear by it, then took a picture. Finally, we had a bartender with a sense of humor!  We recognized the Alaskan Fisher woman and her Alabama husband from the previous ride, and had a few drinks and conversed about the freaks that were on the ferry with us. CDub mentioned to the Fisher woman that she had borrowed a lighter from the dog-shit-picker-upper. And she was disgusted, and a bit mad about why CDub didn’t stop her from using it! He exclaimed that he didn’t want to make a scene, and she understood, but was still bewildered by the story. “What a sick bastard!” she said. We all nodded our heads in agreement.

   It was time to sleep. We had to pitch a tent on the upper deck, known as the Solarium, since the cabins were currently full. (We were on a waiting list to get a cabin, but no luck that night.) There we met a guy that resembled Grizzly Adams. He was a heavy set man with a curly-bushy beard who’s real name was Rob. He was very aware of all the freaks on the boat, and pointed at the dog-shit-picker-upper, (whom at the time didn’t know that this man was a dog-shit-picker upper, until we told him the story.) After hearing about it, he too tried to avoid him.

  So, there we were on the Solarium eager to hear our names to be called to get a cabin on our final night on the ferry. As luck would have it, we were the last ones to receive a cabin, and right in the nick of time too! That night the ocean grew angry. Some people had to escape the rainy and windy weather, pack up their tents and head below to sleep in the theatre or the observation deck for shelter. HAHA! The poor bastards!

    Another night at the Piano Bar: We met a man from Ketchikan, which was the 1^st city of Alaska that we visited on one of our stops. We talked to him awhile about what it was like living in that city his whole life. We also saw Sally, the Australian with the Cheshire Cat smile at the bar, whom CDub met earlier watching whales breach from the ocean on previous ferries. She was full of life and drink, and we all took pictures together and rambled on about our adventures.

    We left the bar, headed back to our last night in the cabin and ran into the dog-shit-picker-upper who asked CDub…"You never liked me anyway, huh?” CDub replied without hesitation, “Nope.” then walked away.

   We finally arrived in Bellingham…away from the freaks! On the freeway however, we passed the dog-shit-picker-upper! So we yelled out the window:  “DOG-SHIT-PICKER-UPPER!” and laughed hysterically on to our next journey.